The Last Tempation of Cousland
by AmetoMuchi
Summary: Spoilers! The night before the final battle, the last son of the Couslands is approached by Morrigan. This is of his inner turmoil and the overcoming of demons. PC/Morrigan, PC/Leliana


Felix stood in front of the crackling fireplace, losing himself in the dance of the flames. Behind him he could sense the eyes of Morrigan watching him carefully. The Cousland tried to ignore the sensation it gave him. Cold chills down his back and creeping into his heart while the fire made his face feel like it was burning.

He felt despair at the news Riordan had only just given to himself and Alistair. To kill the archdemon one of them would have to die. If Riordan failed in killing the demon, Felix knew it would fall to him. Alistair was too important to let him sacrifice himself now that he was king, the last of the Theirin line. Much like himself, if Fergus was truly dead. If need be Ferelden could carry on well enough without the Couslands, but not the Theirins. When he came to his room to find Morrigan waiting for him his only reaction was for his heart to drop into his stomach. Somehow he felt there was something wrong for her to be there. While he had admitted to himself he felt an attraction to the mage, he had refused to act on it. Since then the two hadn't spoken.

"Very well.", he said. His voice half a tired croak and half a sigh. "What is your plan?" Felix didn't bother to turn around to look at her. From his previous experience with Morrigan and her mother, the fact she learned this ritual from Flemeth did nothing to ease his ill feelings. She began, her voice full of certainty and confidence that she only rarely lacked. "What I propose is this: lay with me. Here, tonight. And from our joining, a child will be conceived." Felix looked over his shoulder at Morrigan and instantly regretted the decision.

There she was: sitting on his bed and watching him with those peculiar, fascinating and beautiful golden eyes of her. Inside he felt the pang of arousal and want but also the bitter knot of dread in his gut, knowing that whatever this ritual was it would be much more than simply bedding with the woman. He turned back towards the fire saying nothing and so she continued. "The child will bear the taint, and when the archdemon is slain, its essence will seek the child like a beacon."

"At this early stage, the child can absorb that essence and not perish. The archdemon is still destroyed, with no Grey Warden dying in the process" His lips pressed into a thin line and he spoke up, "You want to… have my child?" He closed his eyes, trying to sort out his thoughts as she spoke. "This is what I offer you: the chance to avoid death. Or better yet, the chance to slay the archdemon and live as a hero. No Grey Warden has ever done this. After this is done, you allow me to walk away.. And you do not follow. Ever. The child will be mine to raise as I wish."

Felix turned and walked slowly towards her, looking down into her eyes. They were unreadable, as he should have expected. The knot in his stomach tightened and he was forced to take his eyes from hers. Despite how it struck him as wrong, he could not help but consider it. If not for the glory and recognition he could finally receive for all his work, all his sacrifices… then at least he could still live. Despite his apprehension, he had to ask: "How do you know this plan will work?"

And Morrigan told him. The real reason she had been sent by her mother to aid him. He turned back away from her and stared at the wall, pacing a few steps away from her and clenching his hands into fists. He had been a fool and Alistair was right. He should have known there would have been an ulterior motive for Flemeth to send her daughter. Until now he had naively just accepted Morrigan's explanation that she wanted to go to see the world while helping to stop the Blight.

He cast his eyes down and let his hands drop to his sides limply. "Is this why you have been so… friendly to me?" He was afraid of the answer. "Caring for you as I've come to.. That was not part of the plan.", and for the first time emotion - sadness maybe? - crept into her voice. Felix couldn't help but wonder if that was allowed on her part. "But I cannot let what I feel interfere with what I must do. This is important to me. The fact it may save your life makes me all the more determined to see it done." The young Grey Warden turned around to look at her again, seeing what he felt was a mirror of his own conflicting emotions that no doubt played on his own eyes. She continued, "Please do not.. Cloud the issue. If you feel anything for me, then accept that this will make what we must do.. that much easier."

Again Felix felt his resolve start to buckle underneath him, as it had not very long ago in front of Morrigan's campsite. His love for Leliana had kept him from giving in to her offer that time, but now he wondered if that was truly enough. He moistened his lips and swallowed the lump in his throat before asking, "Will I ever see you again?"

Suddenly her face was all stone again, hinting at none of her previous emotion. "After the archdemon has been slain? No. No, you will never see me again." At this point, he felt as if his heart wouldn't sink any lower.. Instead it contracted with pain in his chest at the thought of having a child with this woman, who despite everything he still cared about, and not being able to see it or raise it. Would he, or she, grow up never knowing their father? He knew that would most likely be the truth with Morrigan.

He sat down next to her on the bed, trying his best to avoid her gaze. He asked about the child, how she would raise it and what exactly it would be. From what he could tell Morrigan answered his inquires honestly. Felix ran a hand through his blonde hair and sighed.

It wouldn't be that bad, would it? His life in exchange for the freedom of the essence of an old god. From his research he had found that the archdemon itself had previously been known as the old god Urthemiel, the god of beauty in the Tevinter Imperiuim. Would it be an artist, or a musician - gifted in the arts? The thought seemed pleasant enough.

But still, he felt his own doubts. The Urthemiel that was the old god has since become corrupted and tainted by the darkspawn. Despite Morrigan's claims he doubted a forbidden ritual would remove that taint completely from the child. Given what he already knew about Flemeth's practices with her own children, he truly wondered as to the motives for why Morrigan would want this. Would having the essence of an old god make this child immortal, and then a perfect host for Morrigan herself if she wished to take control of it?

The thought gave him a sick feeling inside to have such a fate befall a child of his. After a long pause Morrigan inched closer towards him, placing a hand on his shoulder. "Then you have decided?", she asked. Felix turned towards her, searching her eyes for anything unspoken. He truly wasn't even sure what he had hoped to find, but in those golden depths he found nothing but ice.

He turned back away and stared at the floor in thought. Through the stone walls he could hear the sounds of the army doing last preparations before going to sleep for the night. How easy it would be, to just do this one thing. No doubt sleeping with Morrigan would be pleasurable, and he would not have to die for it. He could save his own life, and the lives of his fellow Wardens all at once. Felix wondered for a moment what his father would have advised him in this matter.. But he knew the Teryn would never had envisioned this for his son. He wanted none of this for Felix, fighting the darkspawn and becoming a Grey Warden and all the hardship that came with it. Following this train of thought he couldn't help but feel some amount of pity for himself. How complicated his life had become since the death of his family had been.

He didn't deserve all the blood on his hands, all the hardships and sacrifices he had had to make in the past. So many choices he wished he could have changed. Perhaps if he had tried more, he could have saved Eamon's son Connor from the demon, if he had made Alistair see reason perhaps he could have redeemed Loghain.. Those two deaths weighed on his conscience particularly more than others.

Despite all Loghain had put himself and Alistair through, all the pain and hardship he had caused, he couldn't help but see that truly he felt he was doing it all for Ferelden. He wondered if he would have made those same decisions in the older man's shoes. He would never know if there was that goodness still inside him that he had suspected. He continued staring at the stone floor and couldn't help but wonder: Hadn't he sacrificed enough to stop the Blight and save his country? Didn't he deserve to live past all this and have a chance at happiness? What would this one decision make in grand scheme of things? Felix let that thought hang in the air for a moment. It was so tempting, and Morrigan was such a beautiful woman. It would be easy to give in…

But he knew that Flemeth and possibly even Morrigan had nothing good planned for this child if he agreed to it. If the archdemon wasn't slain utterly, wouldn't there always be the chance it could come back and begin another Blight? He would have done all this for nothing.

Felix lifted his head and matched Morrigan's eyes, icy blue meeting gold and matching it in intensity. This was the hardest decision he had made so far, but as he looked at her he knew he had made the right one. She leaned in towards him but with inches between them, his gauntleted hand held her shoulder in place. "No.", he finally said. "I won't agree to this."

He stood up from the bed and Morrigan's hand fell away from him. "There is of course, another option." She began to tell him of the choice to convince Alistair to do this, but he couldn't hear the words. He shook his head. If he had made his decision, why would he convince Alistair, his best friend, to go along with this and sleep with a woman that the man severely disliked? When she had finished he blurted out "You want me to give you to another man?"

He instantly felt embarrassed and childish for that brief flare of jealousy. He was in no position to be jealous of such a situation, and now was no time for things like that. At any other time he would imagine Morrigan might have been amused, but instead she kept pressing the issue until he finally snapped; "I said no and I meant it."

He took several steps away from her, turning his back to her and staring back into the fire. He still felt his heart and insides clenched by sadness, both at doing this to Morrigan and at the own resignation he had made to his own fate. He had sacrificed so much already, if it came to giving his life to see this done then that would be what he would have to do. Behind him he heard Morrigan rise up from his bed and felt the heat of her now angry glare into his back. "Do not let your foolish pride condemn you!"

The apostate moved towards him and continued, "No Grey Warden asked for the sacrifice that is now demanded of them, and I offer all of you a way out. Will you not reconsider?" At the end she sounded almost pleading with him, and he knew that truly she did not want to see him dead. He felt himself begin to tremble and tried to hold it in.

Felix was sorely tempted to give in and do this for the both of them. He hadn't asked for all this responsibility, or all these sacrifices. He had been conscripted into the Wardens by Duncan in a desperate situation as his home burned around him. He couldn't help but feel anger and a bit of hate for the departed Warden, which didn't have the chance to surface often.

As soon as the anger had risen up, it departed as his shoulders slumped and he closed his eyes. If there truly was a Maker, ending the Blight must have been the destiny set aside for him. If Duncan had seen it in him to be a Grey Warden, then he would carry on and make one last sacrifice for Ferelden.

With that the last Cousland resigned himself to his fate. He refused to turn at look at Morrigan again. "If I die, it will be with honor. You have my answer." He could almost feel that same trembling he had felt now come from Morrigan herself. "Then you are a fool. I will not stand by and watch you waste this opportunity. Die, if you feel it is worthwhile. Or be overshadowed, I care not." Her words stung like the bite of a cobra, but he supposed that was how she intended them to be. The witch of the wilds rarely did anything without meaning to, as he had learned tonight.

He clenched his jaw and said the words he that he felt coming despite what he wanted, like so much in his life in the past few months. "Then go, if that's what you want to do." She stood still for a moment, before he heard the rustle of her black robes. "Fare you well, my love. Should you live past the morrow, I trust it will only be with regret." He heard her turn and move away from him. He wanted to turn around and see her, once last time, but the same unmoving cold steel inside him kept him staring into the flames before him. The door opened, he felt the rush of magic across the back of his neck… and then nothing.

Felix finally turned around to look at the partially opened door. He dropped his arms and slowly made his way to the door. Looking out into the hall he saw nothing. The torches blazed and crackled, and she was gone forever. Unable to hold it in, his face contorted in pain and he leaned back into his room and closed the door. Placing one hand against the stone frame to steady himself, he tried to control his breathing. Minutes later after finally managing the calm himself down again, the noble turned the key in the door and locked the room. If Riordan failed tomorrow then it all fell to him to make the final, ultimate sacrifice. Morrigan had taken the last of his dwindling resolve. He would see tomorrow through to the end, but it would be the last he had to give away after so many months of giving as much as he could to save his country.

The last Cousland slowly removed his silver and blood stained armor, dropping it to the floor as he made his way to the bed. With the tugging off of his boots, he laid down and collapsed onto the sheets of his bed. He turned over and stared at the flickering and crackling fire, and felt one last time the cold despair of resigning to his fate, and then he closed his eyes.

From the author: Thanks for reading! This is how I experienced DAO myself on my first play through. From what I saw my PC, Felix Cousland, was a hero. A real human hero that sacrificed everything for his friends, his loves, and his country. But we all have doubts, and that's how I saw him.. Because only a real hero can face his doubts, his insecurities, his pain and all his inner demons. Yet still manage to find it within him/herself the ability to give everything up for the greater good. There is also the tragedy of the concept of fate. I think it fits in well with a lot of the dark, tragic setting in Dragon Age. Especially with such an emotional scene such as that in the game. I don't think any player was unaffected by it.

Also this is my first writing in like… over a year. . it's probably bad, especially as I wrote it in one go. Please feel free to give me constructive criticism, as I most likely need it from being so rusty. Thank you very much.


End file.
